Need To Change

And just like that awareness kicks in and they realise they need to change. You can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink. It doesn't matter how many times you try to help a person unless they can recognise that the problem sits squarely on their shoulders, You will always be beating your head against a brick wall. Babe you are far too pretty to ruin the money maker for someone else's ignorance. However if you are lucky they might recognise a good thing and know that in order to keep you around they must change their ways. When the fear of losing you becomes stronger than the fear of being hurt they will try. I know everyone tells us not to wait for a person based on the potential you see but some people are worth waiting for and only you know this. If deep down you can feel the connection and you want to wait then do so. Don't let the societal ‘shoulds’ and ‘should nots’ tell you what to do. Don't let other people's opinions of what ‘should have happened by now’ change what you know. Only you know the connection you have with a person, you can talk about your experience and explain it as best as you can but you are the only person to experience it. You're the only person who really knows what's going on. And yes of course I'm talking about a boy, obviously. A silly boy who has my heart in his big dumb hands and knows it. He has always been gentle and kind with it but fear made him clumsy and sometimes he would poke it until I cried. I tried to take it back from him but he held on even when there was space between us and now I see him giving me his. It's a little bruised and battered and when you try to love it too hard it hides like a scared cat but he's trying. Sometimes he goes back to old habits and I have to accept that as part of the healing process. I'm no better. I spiral and catastrophise. I think the worst of him and vow to cut him off but to disappear, to take my love away without warning would make me the same as all the others. It makes me the same as those who kicked him in the guts in the past and I refuse to be another name on the list. In his round about way he told me he knows he needs to change and will impatiently wait and watch him change. I am his safe place and he is mine.