Cave Dweller

I matched with a guy on a dating app who seemed cute and sweet. He wasn't pushy about sex or meeting up and said he was looking for friends first because that's how a good relationship should start. We chatted on the app for a while and then he asked if I was comfortable switching numbers. He was tall and had the most gorgeous set of blue eyes. How could I say no?

We texted for a few days and then things changed. He started pushing for us to meet up and the messages started to become more and more sexual. I'm not opposed to a risky text in fact I will encourage it but it needs to be mutual, not a one sided affair after 3 days of talking about hunting deer. Get to know a girl before you tell her you want to fuck her in the ass while shooting the wildlife. I told the guy I needed conversation for a bit to decide if he was a nice guy before we met up. I need some conversation and a video chat at least once. I'm awkward and nervous when I meet new people, especially strangers off the internet. His response was ‘why? I'm an easy going guy.’

After a few days of conversations about hunting deer and some innuendo from him. I made a comment about being catfished in the past. So he sent me a selfie and to his credit he did look exactly like his profile pics. Thank God! But then he asked if I wanted something a little more sexy. ‘Sigh’ I said ‘sure, hit me with it’. And for those of you following along at home you might have heard me say this before. Nine times out of ten, the remaining portion of the chapter is based around whatever happens after that comment. This time is no different. 

He sent me what can only be described as a OnlyFans-esque picture of him in a cowboy hat with a raging boner. Can't say huge boner because it was average. Now don't me wrong the photo was hot but I know enough about the male anatomy to see that he had clearly been on the edge of finishing when he decided to pose for the shot and it was off putting. Then I got a photo of him doing the same thing but in a cave? What the fuck? Now I'm very competitive so I won't be beaten. I sent him a couple of photos in return. I had a boudoir shoot done a couple of months prior to the conversation and had some tasteful yet very sexy images to share. Some might say I was encouraging him. I guess we'll never know. 

After about a week of talking we decided to facetime. I was very nervous but I poured a large glass of wine and waited anxiously for the call. He was lovely. We talked about music and our families, past tinder dates and the possibility of meeting up. He told me that he was, conveniently, going to be in the area the following day and asked if I was keen to meet up. I told him I'd let him know. Right before the call ended things got a little spicy. We were both nude and watching each other get to business. The problem was he finished his business about 3 seconds into the situation and I was only just starting. Lucky for me, I'm an actress. So I faked it. He told me he came in his hand and thought the best course of action was to show me said cum. I hung up the phone. 

The following morning I told him my dishwasher had sprung a leak, a lie. I said my dad was coming over to fix it, a bigger lie. So I wouldn't be able to see him that night, thank god. 

A dude who cums that fast on his own will definitely cum even fast when given access to my perfect vagina and I'm done faking orgasms especially when I have a bag of toys that can get me over the line 100% of the time on my own and I can do it all with a glass of wine in my hand.