Lean Into Your Feminine Energy

He told her to lean into her feminine energy, she cut all her hair off, dyed it black and gave herself an undercut. Then just for validation, posted a video of them making out. Could be wrong but I think something is off in the relationship, could be wrong but it might be the fact that you've never spent more than three months on your own, could be wrong but it might be that you don't know anything about yourself and you need another person in your life to distract you from the fact that your head's a mess. She was hurt, really badly by more than one person, but unfortunately a new person won't fix that. It'll feel good for a bit but only until it doesn't, and the bit where it doesn't feel good will happen quicker each time. 

‘But this guy is different’ She will say jumping from boyfriend to boyfriend so fast it makes my head spin. I don't know how she does it. I wonder if she really cared? Or maybe she is better than me, maybe she can detach where I hang on too tightly to things that aren't working. Maybe I should be taking the situation at face value? He said he liked me but couldn't give me what I wanted. Maybe I should leave it at that instead of reading too much into every single text. I do it because I care about him and I'm not ready to move on yet. There are real feelings there and I know they are there because I remember what it was like when there weren't feelings. In the beginning I could have moved onto someone else. I did, it was easy to meet new people, now I compare everyone to him. No one measures up. I know if it really is done that the feelings will fade. Time heals all as they say but for now I need so much time. I don't understand how she moves on.

Truth is I'm not sure she has ever really moved on. These guys live rent free in her head and while she will tell me till she's blue in the face that they dont bother her at all, the fact that she has to bring them up or looks to see if they are on her socials tells a different story. She might claim she likes to be a toxic bitch but really none of us do. Being toxic feels horrible for both parties unless of course you're a narcissist in which case you do you boo, just don't do it near me. 

How does she know this guy is better than the last when I'm not sure she knows why the last guy was wrong. He was crazy she will tell us over a glass of wine and a plate of snacks, and the new guy is so much better in bed. Like that's the answer to everything. Actually a good dick will solve a lot of your problems. Me for example, when im frustrated, I want to be fucked like you hate me. Like dont actually hate me but fuck me hard till I’m sweating and cant think. Then I want to cuddle on the couch while we watch a movie and you complain about how im talking through the whole thing. But then I also need you to ask why I'm so quiet when i dont talk because it's not like me. I always talk through the movie. I want you to notice these things. 

Maybe the new guy does that for her. I guess I’lll never really know but I have a feeling the guy who says he's available for altering systems of consciousness is probably a douchebag. The renegade member of the family of light is probably not the one. He might however be well on his way to starting a cult. Could be fun if you're into group sex with religious elders and being the vessel that brings forth the children of the family of light. To me the guy seems a little off. To her though, this medium ugly man fills her soul with smooth one-liners and crystal healing. The sun probably literally shines out of his ass. Im sure he fucks her with his energy beams and the relationship is great. I'm also sure I'll be there when the relationship is over with a glass of wine and a plate of snacks listening to her complain about how crazy he was and in a few months I'll do it all again when she's telling me about the new boy.