My Hair Is Falling Out

You know that feeling when your to-do list starts to look more like a tragic novel than a series of actionable items? Yeah, that’s me right now. I’m drowning in responsibilities, and work is the riptide dragging me under. It’s not even that the workload itself has ballooned into something monstrous, it’s more that I’ve fallen out of love with the whole damn thing. Once upon a time, this job was challenging in a way that felt energizing. Now my boss sits in his room between patients scrolling on his phone. He brushes me off when I mention things are really hard and I'm not coping with the stress. He's reluctant to hire more staff and doesn't seem to care that trying to keep on top of everything is making me physically unwell. And because I’m no longer emotionally invested, the stuff that used to be “meh, doable” now feels like climbing Everest in flip-flops. Every email is a chore, the day to day grind makes me want to pull my fingernails out with my teeth. And don’t even get me started on people calling in sick. I know they're faking it, I can smell the bullshit a mile away. 

Their “sick days” become my extra workdays. Like clockwork, their absence becomes my problem, suddenly, I’m covering for two people and getting appreciation from exactly zero.

Then there's the theatre world, my usual sanctuary, my weird people. Except this year? It’s been more “Greek tragedy” than anything else. I had multiple productions lined up, and normally that would be thrilling. But somewhere along the way, the cast learned that If they just sit around long enough doing nothing, they know I’ll eventually swoop in and fix everything because of course I will. Because the show must go on, right? But the show can’t go on when I’m barely standing.

So yeah. I’m overwhelmed. Burnt out. Tired of being the safety net for everyone else’s fuck-ups. I want my passion back but not at the cost of my sanity. I want to create, to thrive, to breathe deeply again but first, I need the world to stop handing me everyone else’s mess like it’s mine to clean up.